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Agapē 聖愛
2026, Sound installation with paintings
Trauma is an encounter with the Real, and encounters with the Real are not good or bad. Some of the bad events we encounter, which are traumatic, and when we experience some unexpected good fortune, then that is also traumatic.
This series of paintings draws on my Lacanian psychoanalysis of my mother to deconstruct her upbringing and unearth the formation and development of her trauma and traumatic events, and narrate how these issues evolved into family relationships and my education. My mother's growth experience and my childhood memories, the two timelines are wonderfully intertwined and deconstructed of trauma and love, explaining the meaning behind many life choices, about family of origin, marriage and even my birth! This work focuses on showing the state of the Chinese family from the mid-20th century to the early 21st century, as well as the meaning of symbolic mechanisms hidden in daily trivialities. I use spray painting as a form of expression to restore the hazy, warm but realistic truth like a dream, as a tool to discuss growth, family and trauma. The intermittent fragments of life choices are connected by countless chemical signals flashing in the brain, becoming an inexplicable life history. for me, what I was doing was the same as dissecting a mouse in a laboratory and scrutinizing the way the body's organs functioned, where all the secrets would be hidden under the spotlight, it was so bloody and naked. It is precisely for this reason that I did not dare to tell the owner of this art project, I was afraid that the results of my cold experiments would hurt her, even though this behavior was inevitable back then, but I wanted to say that I love my mother, and she loves me and that's enough.
This series of paintings draws on my Lacanian psychoanalysis of my mother to deconstruct her upbringing and unearth the formation and development of her trauma and traumatic events, and narrate how these issues evolved into family relationships and my education. My mother's growth experience and my childhood memories, the two timelines are wonderfully intertwined and deconstructed of trauma and love, explaining the meaning behind many life choices, about family of origin, marriage and even my birth! This work focuses on showing the state of the Chinese family from the mid-20th century to the early 21st century, as well as the meaning of symbolic mechanisms hidden in daily trivialities. I use spray painting as a form of expression to restore the hazy, warm but realistic truth like a dream, as a tool to discuss growth, family and trauma. The intermittent fragments of life choices are connected by countless chemical signals flashing in the brain, becoming an inexplicable life history. for me, what I was doing was the same as dissecting a mouse in a laboratory and scrutinizing the way the body's organs functioned, where all the secrets would be hidden under the spotlight, it was so bloody and naked. It is precisely for this reason that I did not dare to tell the owner of this art project, I was afraid that the results of my cold experiments would hurt her, even though this behavior was inevitable back then, but I wanted to say that I love my mother, and she loves me and that's enough.
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